Who is Watching? [FREE]

As talented as players might be there are behaviors that can absolutely torpedo a player's potential recruitment to play college sports. And not just the player's behavior. I am in gyms year round catching action at club team tryouts, high school and college games, club ball tournaments and exposure events. In and out of the gym I spend a substantial amount of time talking to parents, players, club directors, coaches at all levels, trainers, and other scouts and sports media colleagues. Frequently heard questions I field from college coaches regarding potential recruits include 'what are their parents like?' and 'how are they as a teammate?' Observations of conduct almost never go unshared. And often 'what were they thinking' comes up.

As simplistic as those first two questions appear both actually are very open-ended questions seeking evidence that a player nor their family will be a problem. Below are behaviors that I either witnessed or learned of from very reliable sources that are guaranteed to damage, often irreparably, a player's recruitment. College coaches will get up and walk out. Names literally on a coach's list get scratched out. Below are several real examples.

I was scouting a high level high school game. A very talented player, among the best at her position, was known to chew out and berate teammates on the floor. I was told about it and then witnessed it. I would go so far to say the behavior factored into that team's loss partially because of the responding behavior of the teammate on the receiving end. Body language spoke volumes.

At a high school tournament game a parent a few rows above me started loudly calling to their daughters on the floor what they should do. Thankfully the players and the coaching staff ignored the embarrassing parent conduct. Supporting what the coach and officials are wanting is a positive. But when parents consistently draw, or expect to draw, a player's attention to what the parent has to say that behavior is distracting and can even be undermining. I have had college coaches tell me they are not or would not recruit a particular player because the parent has a pattern of actively interfering during games.

During the 2025 high school season there was an incident where a couple players got tangled up following a rebound. One, deservedly so, was penalized and could easily have been ejected. It was a fair call from a veteran officiating crew I was familiar with. That player hurt her team by jawing, taunting and focusing more on going after the other player than thinking about her team. Word of her actions reached her club coach and a college coach I knew. Volatility is not a positive trait.

At a boys game there was a substantial collision that was just a result of fast, energetic play. One player squared up and took steps toward the other player before refs and other players intervened. Behind me in the stands I hear mom yelling "Kick his a**!" Even if the player was talented enough to play college ball any opportunity that might have developed immediately sank.

Early into the first couple of weeks of games of the 2025 season word reached me about a couple varsity players for a strong team skipping practice over holiday break in the recent past. Their social media showed images of partying and possible drinking the night before. What does that tell a college coach about a player's commitment to the team?

With college players officiating, elite camp attendees were scrimmaging at a NCAA D I university two summers ago. College coaches from other levels of play were in attendance. A parent starts yelling at those officiating to call a foul. I had three college coaches tell me they would not recruit the player and pondered how many other coaches were influenced by the parent's actions.

Basketball is an emotional, intentional game. Collisions and incidents happen in competition but it cannot be over-emphasized that there are always people watching. Behaviors have consequences. Scouts, media and college coaches frequently are among those in attendance. And they are always assessing a variety of considerations. Some have no place in the game. Period. Others showed positive resiliency. Players, show your best self. Not doing so can torpedo recruitment.